some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
