You can't motorboat a personality
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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