im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
