Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
