Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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