no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
