surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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