office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
