If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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