you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize