either way he was missing a nipple.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize
