I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
