But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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