Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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