i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
