Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
We're too hungover to prance.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
