is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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