just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
