who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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