You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
