There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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