I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
