she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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