you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
