Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
