Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
