Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize