Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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