I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
