guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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