After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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