So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
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