Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
