I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
