Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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