what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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