Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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