I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
