Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
