Its about making memories worth repressing
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
