you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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