My brain says no but my pants say off.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
