I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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