So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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