Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
