are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
