woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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