We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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