Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
