Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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