that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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