guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
