If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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