walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
