whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
false alarm, still single
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