ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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