Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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