He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
