i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
