In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
