Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
