Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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