Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
