omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
