ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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