Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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