I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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