I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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