i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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