He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
