Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
